That Time in Louisiana
by Here Kitty Kitty Kitty
Summary: Rogue and Logan are always wondering what those 2 homocidal maniacs are talking about. CRACK ONE-SHOT


Mirror: Ah thought we agreed not to tell anyone this.

Miki-el: Well, we were going to have to sometime.

Mirror: It's a need to know basis hun.

Miki-el: Right! I GOT THAT! But they need to know.

Mirror: Ah hope they have Medi-cal.

Miki-el: That plan's tanking. Lets hope that Beast is a therapist. You're a seventeen-year-old alcoholic-

Mirror: AM NOT!

Miki-el: They'll understand.

Disclaimer: Me no own X-Men. Me own X-Crew.

Note: If you don't know what the members of the X-Crew look like, read the descriptions at the beginning of chapter 1 Of my other story, "The Other Team"

_**THAT TIME IN LOUISIANA**_

Logan and Rogue were in the kitchen, talking about their last mission when Miki and Miri walked in. Rogue elbowed Logan in the ribs, "Lets ask them about 'that time in Louisiana' their always talking about."

Logan shrugged, "Go ahead kid, but I'm not sure if I really want to hear this."

Rogue rolled her eyes and turned her attention to the duo, "Hey since no one's around, can you tell us about what happened in Louisiana?"

Miri gave Miki an 'Oh shit' look. Miki just shrugged. Mirror looked back to the two at the table, "We really don' like talkin' 'bout it, but okay."

Miki-el started the story, "It was about a year ago. WE went to Louisiana to find a guy who was shrink-wrapping women."

Logan almost spit out the beer he was drinking, "He was what?"

Miri shushed him, "Do you want to hear the story or not, shut up!"

Miki continued, "It was midnight, Mardi Gras was going on. We spotted the guy going into a motel."

"And of course we followed. It was Jared, Jon, Spence, Dolly, Miki, and me." Miri said.

"We rented the room next to his and set up surveillance."

"Hours passed and nothin'. Jared had his box full of 'happy darts' and was loadin' his dart gun."

"I really think that's were the shit hit the fan." Miki said.

"Yeah, the next mornin' we really didn' remember much."

"Although the tall tale signs of everything that went down were sticking out everywhere."

Logan cut into the conversation, "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on, what happened to the guy."

Miri shushed him again, "Save your questions till the end. As Ah was sayin', things were not very clear."

"I woke up with an indescribable taste that I can only describe as a dirty rag mixed with many flavors of whisky."

Miri kinda cringed as she looked at Miki, "That's when Ah noticed the side of her head had been shaved completely."

"I noticed Miri had a dart sticking out of her neck and her hair was chopped to right below her chin."

"Miki stood up and had a fairy wings strapped around her crotch."

"We both screamed in horror 'What happened to your hair', as we pointed to each other. I also noticed she had a bundle of Mardi Gras beads around her chest as a tube top."

"Miki and Ah looked around only to find Jon, sittin' crouched down with his feet on the edge of the seat of the chair, weaving a wig outta our hair. He was reciting, 'It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again'."

"I pulled myself up, pulled the dart out of my leg that said Demerol, and went into the bathroom to wash the fuzzy rug out of my mouth. That's when I noticed Sinead O'Connor in the bathtub. I asked her to sing my favorite song 'Nothing Compares to You', but then I noticed it was only Adollhia, with her toe stuck up the faucet in the bathtub, and she was completely bald. Someone had made 'Dumbo' ears out of cardboard and super-glued them to her head."

Miri sat down, "Ah stumbled to mah feet and ripped the dart outta mah neck, which by the way had embalming fluid written on it. Ah scanned the room for Jared as Ah found mah shirt, and tore the beads that were glued to mah chest off. They flew all over the room. Ah looked over and noticed Spence on the bed, naked, with a banana sticking out of his ass, Ah'm pretty sure Ah put it there, and had a dart sticking out of his neck stamped Dilaudid."

"After laughing my ass off at Dolly, who was trying to get her toe out of the faucet, I fell out of the door and proceeded to crawl over to Jon, who stuck his homemade wig on his head, and asked how it looked. I grabbed him by the throat and asked him if he had shaved our heads. He told me he had only cut Mirror's hair, and that's when I let her take over. He told me that I had shaved Dolly's head and that Jared was helping and as he was holding the clippers, ran them up the side of my head."

"Ah proceeded to kick the holy shit outta Jon at that point and keeping mah balance was not easy. Then Ah spotted him, well his ass-cheeks anyway. Jared was hangin' from the balcony railing, danglin' over the street, with a sheet around his neck like a cape and a speed-o, pink to be exact. He had a dart in his neck marked LSD. Ah yelled for Miki who was wrestling with the fairy wings 'round her crotch. She flung them off and Jon picked them up and put them on."

"I walked over to the balcony and Miri and I pulled the dumb-ass back over the rail. When we got him over, he was also wearing Miri's bra."

"And that was mah favorite bra, too. By this time Dolly came stumbling outta the bathroom screaming, she had noticed her head. When she spotted Jon wearing the wig made outta our lovely locks she stormed over and kicked him square in the man-gina, while he was middle of his famous quote 'It rubs the lotion on its skin,' then it got 'bout five octaves higher, 'or else it gets the hose again'."

"We had figured out that Jared's dart gun had prematurely went off and penetrated us. After that everything gets blurry."

Mirror had to contain herself from laughing at how Miki had explained that. Logan and Rogue's jaws were dropped. Logan shook his head, "So what happened to the guy?"

"Oh…" Miki started, "It seems my gun went off and shot through the wall and caught him right between the eyes. The lady who was shrink-wrapped to the wall was grateful."

Logan facepalmed, "I knew I didn't wanna hear this."

At that time Dolly, Jared, Jon, and Spence came in from different directions. Both Rogue and Mirror immediately burst out laughing. Logan had his fist to his forehead and was wondering if he popped his claws, if it would be enough to kill him. Mirror fell out of her chair which only made her and Rogue laugh louder. And so ended another day with the X-Crew.

Holy crap. What were me and my mom on when we wrote this. All I know is that in my story they mention "That time in Louisiana" a lot, so I thought I should let you guys who are reading that one and wondering what the heck happened, this is it. That and it's just a great crack-shot maybe. I don't know. REVIEW PEOPLE! THEN I SHALL REVEAL WOLVERINE'S ONE WEAKNESS! (and its not red-heads ;P)

What will I be doing during Christmas you ask? (I know you don't care but I'm telling you anyone because I don't want to be the only one depressed around Christmas) I will be typing chap 5 of "The Other Team", finishing chap 2 of "Those Who We Protect", writing chap 3 of "Passed Acquaintance", being an idiot and thinking up a Winx Club fanfic mostly likely going to be called "The Others", and starting the "CodiNeedsaNewSpaceBar" foundation, because mine is sticking and freaking annoying me!

"MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND HAVE A HELL OF A NIGHT!"

**MERRY****CHRISTMAS,** And because I might not be updating soon thanks to an indecisive library, HAPPY NEW YEAR! MAKE YOUR RESOLUTIONS! MINE? CURE PARANOID SKITZOPHRENIA! (yeah right)


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